Peace talks continue in Pretoria to find a solution to the fighting in Ethiopia’s Tigray region. The negotiations, led by the African Union, follow a surge in fighting that has alarmed the international community and triggered fears for civilians caught in the crossfire. A senior analyst for Ethiopia in the International Crisis Group, William Davison speaks to that wester Tigray taken by Amhara #eNCA Courtesy #DStv403
Hello every one out there! I am the prodigy of the eternal, the incomparable and the indomitable Ziad Barre. I am af-mishar just like him. I am the tallest man in the history of mankind. I am so tall I can put one of my feet anchored in the center of The Somali Republic and the other foot rested in a place at the center of Jijiga(Jigjige). I was originally from Jijiga(Jigjige). No I did not say I was born in Jijiga but what I said was I was originally from Jijiga. I was the one who founded that city in its modern form because I was an assistant to the mayor there in the 1970’s. I was the one who came up with the city’s layout using just rulers and planes. You can see every city street cutting at the right angle with every adjoining street. When I came here 5 decades ago my first job was hustling at a gas station selling petroleum and essentials. I did not know I was so famous that my name had reached the ears of every American official imaginable.
So one day this very tall man accompanied by security people came to the service station I was hustling and asked my boss if he could talk to me. My boss came to me very excited and somehow nervous and told me some big official wanted to see me outside the store. That official told me that many of his colleagues in the congress have heard about my reputation as a peerless expert in the affairs of the Horn Africa and he had to quit what he was doing at the Congress in DC and rushed back to the city so he could meet me first before anyone did. He gave me a letter of recommendation to one of the local famous universities.
Hey Ittu! What was the name of that congressman/senator?
I forgot his name but he was one of the senators.
Hey Ittu! There are only two senators from each state and if you tell me the year you came here and met the official I can check the database to find out who he was.
Don’t worry about that. You must be one of those neftegnas or Oromummaas
Such a high level official is impossible to forget. That is all I’m saying.
You should never question my statements because my father’s boss Mussolini was the one who liberated and gave you an independent republic of Oromia in 1936.
If that was so, why then Oromos like Garasu Ddukhi, Jagama Kello, Bekele Wayaa and tens of thousands Oromos bitterly fought those fascist soldiers?
First of all Mussolini’s soldiers were not fascists. The are liberators of Oromos. Just imagine if Oromia had stayed a republic after the liberators left and where it could be these days.
So Ittu, you have entitled yourself an expert and an analyst in the affairs of the Horn of Africa. What qualifies you to be so?
First of all I did not entitle myself. BBC, AP, AFP, VOA, DW and Al-Jazeera gave me that well deserved promotion.
So you know everything about Ethiopia, Somalia, Djibouti and lately Eritrea more than anyone else?
Exactly. No one knows like I do. Like I told you already I have one of
my feet in the Republic of Somalia and the other one in the center of Ethiopia.
Hey Ittu! Your forgetting the name of that US senator does not sound…
Does not sound what?
Does not sound possible.
Whatever you neftegna or Oromummaa!!!
Hi there! This is af-mishar again. Do you know what af-mishar means?
Yes I do know. It means smart aleck.
No it does not, you neftegna or oromumma! It means some one who is always right with his words.
Ok go ahead. What is it now ‘af0mishar?
Well, you must have heard it by now already. Yesterday was the 100th anniversary the taking over of the governance of Italy by Mussolini in 1922. So you know Mussolini was the liberator my people and yours too, the Oromos in 1936 when he gave you a republic. Above all he was the boss of my idol Af-Woyne Ziad Barre.
Af-Woyne means big mouthed. Isn’t it?
No it is not, you neftegna or oromimmaa! It means ‘always a man of truth’.
I celebrated that anniversary by climbing Mt. Baldy in just 2 minutes and finished running a mile in 1 minute and 40 seconds.
That’s impossible.
What’s impossible?
1 mile in less than 2 minutes? Impossible!
That’s because you are a neftegna or oromimmaa. You will never believe people like me. You should be joining me in my 100 year celebration of my late leader’s success. I still remember when my idol Af-Woyne Ziad Barre serenading me during my childhood with this:
Faccetta nera, bell’abissina
Aspetta e spera che già l’ora si avvicina!
quando saremo insieme a te
noi ti daremo un’altra legge e un altro Re
Okay, okay! Stop that disgusting mumbo jumbo.
See you then!!!